Marriage
PREAMBLE
To celebrate your wedding at St. Paschal Church, one should be a parishioner of our church.
If a person was married before, either religiously or civilly, no date will be assigned until the issue is resolved according to the Catholic Church regulations.
CONGRATULATIONS!
We, here at St. Paschal Baylon Parish, are happy to have your wedding in our church. The following guidelines will help you to know and to follow what is necessary to make this important day of your life a beautiful and successful event. The norms that follow are based on the laws of the Catholic Church and the regulations which have become a policy for weddings in our church over the years. To ensure every advantage for the best possible preparation, you are expected to plan with the Priests of St. Paschal Church, at least six months before the proposed date of your wedding. This will enable you to have ample time to take the required marriage preparation course, gather the necessary documents, have the interview with the priest, obtain the marriage license from the City Hall, meet with the organist, and, finally, have a rehearsal of the ceremony with your bridal party shortly before the wedding day.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE
The marriage preparation course, or Pre-Cana Conference, is held in various locations throughout the Archdiocese of Toronto. Registration is necessary. This program is offered two times a year at St. Paschal Paish (call the office for schedule) or can be taken at any other place where they offered a Catholic Marriage Preparation Program. A certificate will be issued and it must be presented to the interviewing priest.
DOCUMENTS NEEDED FOR A CATHOLIC MARRIAGE
For your wedding, you will need the following documents:
(1) A recent copy of your baptismal certificate. It must be issued within six months prior to your wedding. This document is not necessary if you were baptized in our church.
(2) Documents showing when and where you received your Confirmation. Once the information is recorded in your marriage papers, this document (which need not be recent) will be given back to you.
(3) Freedom of Marriage testimonial for a spouse who is not Catholic. This document is prepared by the church where you are getting married. To fill it out, the person must present the names of two people who have known him/her for at least two years and are willing to sign that he/she is presently free to marry. The signing must be certify by the priest.
(4) for those who have been previously married, the required documents are: proof of death of the former spouse or proof of nullity of a previous marriage.
(5) Further documents are also required for a marriage that involves a non-Catholic, including a permission or dispensation from the Chancery or bishop’s office which will allow this marriage to take place in the Catholic Church. Usually, his document is sign at the time of the first interview with the priest.
PRE-MARITAL INVESTIGATION
The Pre-Marital Investigation (PMI) is required by church law for all marriages involving a Catholic. It consists of two parts: (1) filling out the necessary data on the person’s identity and sacramental background, and (2) answering under oath a series of questions asked by the priest to ascertain that your marriage can take place with the blessings of the Catholic Church.
MARRIAGE LICENSE
A civil marriage license is required before any couple can be married.
For more details contact: www.vaughan.ca/office-city-clerk/marriage-services.
The license must be brought to the church, no later than, 2 weeks prior to the scheduled wedding date, or sooner. The license is valid for 3 months from the date of issue.
TIME FOR YOUR WEDDING/REHEARSAL
Weddings in our church are usually held on Saturday no earlier than 10:00 A.M. and no later than 2:00 P.M. For valid reasons, other days and time can be considered.
A wedding rehearsal is essential to the good order of the ceremony, especially if it involves several people. Besides the wedding party, the priest would like to rehearse with anyone who may have been asked to do a reading or the prayer of the faithful. The father of the bride or whoever will accompany her down the aisle should also be present. It is important to schedule the rehearsal well in advance because there are times when more than one wedding is taking place on the same day.
BRIDAL PARTY
Both church and civil law require two witnesses of the marriage ceremony. Traditionally, these have come to be known as the best man and the maid/matron of honor. Church law requires that they both be at least 18 years old and of sound mind. Other people can also make up the wedding party. If small children are being considered, these should be such that they can “behave” properly in a setting as serious and as dignified as a church wedding. Church law does not require that any of the above be Catholic. However, it must be understood by everyone in the bridal party that the church is a sacred place and respect is required from everyone present before, during and after the liturgical ceremony.
There is no specific dress code for the bridal party, but, please, consider that the Church is a sacred place and keep in mind the sensitivity of the people present.
WEDDING MUSIC
If you wish to have music at your wedding, it is necessary to contact the parish organist, Ms. Debra Hust, with your arrangements. She may be reached at (416) 988-7168. She will schedule a meeting with you, possibly in church. To better serve you, please contact her at least two months before your wedding. Our church does not allow any music arrangements to be made without her previous knowledge.
Just as you would not expect to pronounce your wedding vows in street language, so you would not expect to hear everyday love songs within a ceremony celebrating Christian married love. Certainly, this sort of music may help celebrate another part of your wedding day; but during the wedding ceremony your concern should be the love of God for you and your love for Him. The music, then, should be either religious or classical. No exception!
PHOTOGRAPHERS AND VIDEOGRAPHERS
Photographs and videos are allowed at your wedding. However, operators should be respectful to everyone present and should not enter the sanctuary (the area around the altar) during the Mass or ceremony. No special lighting may be set up for pictures and no use of flash during the ceremony as this is a distraction to the ceremony. Operators may return to the sanctuary for pictures or videos after the ceremony. We remind all those involved in the taking of photographs and/or videos that the church is a sacred place and respect is required before, during, and after the liturgical ceremony.
WEDDING FLOWERS
Flowers for the sanctuary are suggested; these will remain in church for the weekend liturgies. If the flowers are to be used for decorating the reception hall, they should be removed immediately after the ceremony. Any florist may be selected.
The unity candle is not part of the liturgy, so we discourage the use of it, unless it is an element of your tradition. Our ceramic floor is quite beautiful, so there is no need for runners as they can become a hazard.
During our Lenten & Advent seasons, the church goes through the expense of acquiring lily and poinsettia plants respectively, which are placed in the altar and will remain there for, as long as, they are in bloom. Your arrangements can be added, but nothing is to be moved/removed without the express permission of the Pastor.
THROWING RICE, ETC.
Throwing rice, bird seed, flowers petals (real or artificial), or any kind of confetti is not allowed inside or outside the church. It renders the floor and outside steps slippery, thus endangering the safety of those attending the ceremony, especially the elderly.
BEING ON TIME
It is important for everyone to be on time for the wedding. The ushers should be here at least 30 minutes before to seat the guests. The groom and best man should be here before the bride arrives. The bride and her attendants should arrive shortly before the ceremony is scheduled to start. To keep everyone waiting is a sign of rudeness and adds tension to the beginning of the ceremony.
CHURCH FEE
The offering to the church for the wedding is $500.00. This should be given to the priest at the second meeting or, at the latest, at the time of the rehearsal. Checks should be made to “St. Paschal Church.” A separate fee is required for the church’s organist/soloist.
Other soloists and/or instrumentalists can be provided for an additional cost and will be specified by the organist during the initial meeting to plan the music for your wedding ceremony.
HELPING TO PLAN LITURGICAL PART OF YOUR CEREMONY
The bridal couple may help plan their wedding ceremony by choosing from the options allowed in the rite. Various selections from the Bible are offered as possible readings during the Liturgy of the Word. None of these readings may be substituted by non-scriptural readings. See the liturgical resource book found in this packet. When a wedding takes place between a Catholic and a non-Catholic, the celebration of the Eucharist is not advisable because the non-Catholic cannot receive Holy Communion. If the Catholic party wishes to have the Mass as part of the wedding ceremony, it must be understood that no permission can be given for any non-Catholic either on the altar or in church to receive Holy Communion.
Sacrament of Matrimony
The liturgy of the Sacrament of Marriage in the Church is full of beautiful symbols and blessings. Discerning this sacrament as a divine calling for you is more crucial than one's consideration of many well-known social benefits of marriage. The Church believes and teaches marriage as "a special sacrament" for "the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity" [1] and "mutual help and service" between a baptized man and a baptized woman in the unique, life-long partnership of total and mutual self-giving love. Marriage and married love are by their nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring, so that a man and a woman by their union in Christ are "no longer two, but one flesh" (Matt. 19ff).[2]
[1] Liturgy of the Sacrament of Marriage.
[2] Gaudium et Spes, 48.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. We just got engaged! What should we do to get married in the Catholic Church?
Congratulations! The first step is to contact your local Catholic parish. If both of you are Catholic, you may contact either one of your parish priests. Your pastor will schedule a series of interviews with you both in order to prepare you pastorally for marriage.
2. Is completion of an approved marriage preparation program a requirement for getting married in the Catholic Church?
If you planned to be married in a parish within the Archdiocese of Toronto, yes, it is a requirement to complete an approved marriage preparation program.
3. How far in advance should the couple intending to be married speak to the pastor about their anticipated wedding date?
Couples should speak to their pastor at least twelve months in advance.
4. Is the celebration different if the bride or the groom isn't Catholic?
To maintain consistency across the Archdiocese of Toronto, it is a policy that no Eucharist be celebrated for marriages between a Catholic and a non-baptized person. The celebration of the Eucharist at marriages between a Catholic and a validly baptized non-Catholic is discouraged.
5. Can ministers of non-Catholic Christian communities take part in a Catholic wedding?
Yes, and you must consult your priest for the arrangement.
6. Do Bible readings have to be part of the wedding liturgy?
Yes. There are many beautiful passages and themes from the list of the readings for the couple to consider together. Their priest will be able to help them find appropriate readings.
7. We have prepared our own vows and would like to use the ones we prepared, at the exchange of vows ceremony. Is this allowed?
No. There are many places for creative choice in the ceremony, but the content of the vows is for the validity of the act of entering marriage and therefore we ask that the given formula be carefully observed.
8. We have selected some well-known and meaningful pieces of music for our wedding. However, our Pastor will not allow us to use them.
In planning your wedding, you must consult the Pastor and the existing policy about music and the securing of musicians on your music selection. The Church has a rich repertoire of beautiful and suitable music and hymns. We are confident that with your Pastor’s help, you will find meaningful pieces of music for such a sacred event as your wedding celebration. Celebrating Matrimony takes place within the context of a liturgical ceremony, which is regulated by the Church.
9. Is it true that the Church doesn't recommend that the bride's father give her away?
Culture and family are very much part of the discussion in terms of the details of the celebration. Your priest will be able to speak to your particular situation.
10. We would like to be married in a Catholic Church in another country. How do we go about it?
The procedure to get married in a Catholic Church in another country or Diocese is similar to getting married locally. Please contact your local Pastor who will prepare you for marriage and instruct you to take the Marriage Preparation Course. The Marriage documents are then 'transferred' to the Parish of marriage in the other country via the Chancery offices of the respective Dioceses involved or by being handed back to you to send to the Diocese which you will be married in, months in advance of your wedding.
11. Could we get permission to marry outside the Catholic Church, for example, at a Banquet Hall?
A parish church is the ordinary place for the celebration of a marriage involving two Catholics or a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic. Since the marriage of two baptized persons is a sacrament, it is not merely a private or familial celebration but also an ecclesial event. The spouses declare their consent before God and the Church and live out that commitment in and with the support of the local ecclesial community. Therefore, this celebration should take place in the parish church. Exceptions are only made when there is a grave and urgent cause such as illness or danger of death.
12. I am Roman Catholic but my spouse-to-be is a non-Christian. To satisfy the wishes of both our families, we would like to have two wedding ceremonies, one at the Roman Catholic Church, and another ceremony to follow or precede, in the non-Christian Church. Is this allowed?
Canon 1127 §3 of the Code of Canon Law forbids a double celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent.
13. I have been married before in the Catholic Church. I have made arrangements to get married in two months. Can a Catholic Priest marry us as scheduled?
We cannot guarantee that a Catholic priest can officiate your wedding. Generally speaking, betrothed couples are advised to make arrangement with their local Pastor at least one year before their tentatively planned date of marriage. If either of you were previously married, you must disclose that information to your parish priest who will consult the Marriage Tribunal about your situation: the Church maintains that the new union cannot be recognized as valid if the first marriage is valid. In addition, a special second marriage preparation course by Catholic Family Services of Toronto is mandatory.
14. Can we use Banns or do we have to be married by Marriage Licence?
A couple must be married by Marriage Licence. It is our policy to not publish Banns in the Archdiocese of Toronto.
15. We would like to have our wedding on a Sunday to accommodate our relatives who will be travelling from out of town for our wedding?
According to the particular law of the Archdiocese of Toronto (promulgated since 1971), weddings in the Catholic Church are not allowed to be celebrated on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation (January 1, the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God and December 25, the Solemnity of the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ).
Resources
To learn more about the Sacrament of Matrimony, these resources may help:
